.sick for...

.plate at the lightner museum.

at the cathedral this morning, i couldn't stop crying. i wasn't sad per se, but it was just one solid notion that hit me: i wanted to hug someone. i'm not talking in a romantic sense, but in the most basic of senses. i miss hugging a mother, a father, a sister, a brother, a godson, a goddaughter, a tita, tito, kuya, ate and a friend. i miss basic affection. i miss giving lola sniffs, and tickles. i miss asking my den to give me a dora kiss, a yo gabba gabba kiss, a transformers kiss, a sponge bob kiss, a sesame street kiss a soft kiss, a loud kiss and a silly kiss. i miss squeezing onto one bed with the girls and talking lazily in bed about nothing and everything. i miss watching tv, haphazardly resting on someone's shoulder. as a former massage therapist, i've relied and in some ways, taken for granted, the act of touch. to go from that to solitude, is a very harsh adjustment. this is true loneliness. this is what kills nursing home residents, patients in long term care hospitals, and singles who go day in and day out without basic touch. thank goodness for faith. thank goodness for trips home. thank goodness for visitors. thank goodness for prayers.