.do not laugh.

i am so obsessed with this Japanese show where the team is put in an environment where they can't laugh or else they get a beating. i just watch it over and over again and want so badly to know what they are saying because there are no subtitles. man i wish i knew japanese. it would be a nice asset. maybe i should learn a new language. the only bad thing is that it keeps me up late and then i'm too tired to do anything productive in the morning before i have to go to work. it's a sad sad situation.

last night, i was supposed to meet up with an old co-worker and go for drinks, and yesterday was just such a sh*tty day at work, that i was REALLY looking forward to it. well, at 8:50 when i finally left there, she had texted me to tell me she couldn't make it. what a freakin blower. i thought about who would want to get a drink with me on a monday night at 9pm, but the pickings were slim. man my friends are so responsible, it makes me feel like such a loser. i say this not in a pity me kind of way, but a realistic one. most if not all my friends are in serious relationships, or are married and have kids. this is my reality. don't get me wrong, i LOVE my friends, and i am sooooo blessed beyond belief to have them, but when it comes to things like this, bottom line, we live in different worlds. they can't just leave when they want to, or do things spur of the moment. i called up one of my single girl friends from out of state, and she understood exactly where i was coming from. it's just how it has to be right now. when i texted my friends and told them i was semi-tempted to drink alone, she was also the same one who said she didn't see anything wrong with that. and i wish i had bigger balls to do that. i'm too self-conscious i think. and maybe a bit self-destructive.

gah.