.lost in emotion.

.10,000 feet up, on the top of Haleakala, Maui.

freakin hawaii. who would ever have thought that taking summer classes there would be the demise of my consideration for grad school? so i get home today and there's an innocent looking letter from kean university. then the words jumped off the page and stabbed me in the heart. oh, thanks for your application and spending about a $100 to submit it, but because they are missing my transcript from University of Hawaii, they can no longer consider me for fall 2008, but would i like to be considered for fall 2009? aka would i like to ram my head into a wall over and over again for the same effect? oh life is never dull, not one stinkin moment of it. it's not just getting into any school, it's getting into a GOOD school that i'm really trying to do. i emailed them with a quickness and told them that if they can't consider me b/c of how i did in two classes in the summer of 2000, then i probably was a long shot anyway, but i think they should SERIOUSLY RECONSIDER. seriously. and then there was two. now the pressure is really on to do well in st. augustine. i know, i should've applied to more schools. but then again, this is the girl who applied to gwu, bu, rutgers and 1/2 of college of nj before i visited the campus and didn't quite see myself going to school there.

i went back and forth and then a couple of days i started my online application to USP, but got upset when i got to the questions about what my parents do. what's it to them? i wanted to lie and put that my mom was a stripper and my dad was a stay at home dad. i know, it's petty, but there was just something about it that made me stop and realize, you know what? i don't want to go to your pretentious stinkin school anyway. so i pretty much put my eggs in one basket by only having 3 schools consider me, well i guess now 2. i mean, i knew that getting into kean was going to be difficult, but i think i should be rejected fair and square, and not based on a technicality. it all happens for a reason, right? let's hope someone really compassionate and in a good Christ-like mood receives my email when they get into work tomorrow.

i went to the library yesterday (it's really difficult to blog in real time) along with grocery shopping. it was a nice time to act retired. i got to make bruschetta with some french bread to boot. my newest additions to the reading repertoire are:
Wicked by Gregory Maguire
The Jane Austen Book Club by Karen Joy Fowler
Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Oh, and i'm listening to Son of a Witch by Gregory Maguire on CD on my way to work. kinda hard to get into, but eh, it's something to make the commute a little bit easier to bear.

http://www.stservicemovie.com/
i was actually looking for something else and came across this link in a forward from a dear friend. i kinda choked up at it and thought, WHEN will someone afford me the chance to make a difference? Dearest Lord, please lead the way, my eyes are blinded with tears.