.family forest.

nothing reminds me more of my ginormous family than weddings. pam's getting married and so we're driving to michigan to witness the nuptials. pam's dad and my dad are first cousins, and pam's dad has madd siblings. you can see where this starts to get complicated so i'll try my best to keep it clear. so yes, my dad has buttloads of cousins because my grandmother was one of 12 kids or some insane number like that, and lola's siblings all had lots of kids too. there's patches of them in chicago, las vegas and cali. so yeah, i hope to see them at pam's wedding. i will try my best not to feel left out. the proximity of my cousins has allowed them to bond among themselves, and my family has been conveniently isolated in good ol nj. i don't want to be bitter, but sometimes when i'm on my cousin's myspace pages, i can't help but wonder what it would've been like to grow up around family. my guess is that as much as there's always drama associated with family, i don't think i would've felt as lonely. family just means different things to different people. i realize that. i see that first hand, and i'm so grateful for my friends that have adopted me into their own families. it has made all the difference in the world and helped fill a fraction of that void in my heart. due to the world of technology, i've been able to somewhat reconnect with some of my cousins, and i'm truly grateful for that small link we have. i can't change the past, but i can try to embrace the future and consider what choices i have in terms of deciding where my siblings and i will live. it's something important to remember.