.dreams of destruction.

so i haven't had as much leisurely time as i used to, and that's okay, this isn't forever. i just tell myself, after each day ends. today i was referred to as "dead man walking" by one of my supervisors, and that wasn't far from the truth. i was BEAT. it was that dragging fatigue that had you looking up the clock to think it was 3 only to see it was 11. it was a busy day too. the kind of stress where you have 4 patients waiting to be brought back but there's only 1 table free. who gets it? so you race around trying to scrounge up a table so you can keep the therapists on track. it turns into a race. it's like seating patrons in a busy restaurant but ALL these people have reservations. when i clocked out, my head was pounding and i took two advil. the drive home was so dangerous because i was so close to passing out a couple of times. when i got home, i went straight upstairs and took a nap. for 4 hours. right before i woke up, i was still dreaming of work, and i was still scrambling to find tables for patients. it was the worst. i woke up exhausted and that's when i truly realized the amount of stress that i had been placing on myself. reset. i already called out for tomorrow and i'm off friday. that should help me feel less stressed out about physics. i haven't had a class make me cry like that in a long time. one day at a time. it's not forever. if i can get through this, i can do anything else in the world. july 24th. wherever you are, join me as i celebrate the ending of that horrid class.