.affirmation.

august has been the month of love! it started off with a "housewarming" that turned out to be a surprise party despedida for me. my lovely lovely friends spent a lot of time putting it together, and when i saw everyone in the room, i just started crying, because really, how did i become this blessed? it's amazing when you see a true cluster of some of your dearest friends, smiling with excitement in their eyes, hoping that i was truly surprised, seeing their hard work of dodging questions and lying to me come to fruition. (hehe) then camp. then leading worship with a person who i can consider a friend now, and remembering that as much as i had my gripes, this community lead me to a closer relationship with the Love of my life, and i consider myself lucky. then leaving my job and saying goodbye to everyone and having them wish me well. then a mets game with some of my most favorite people in the world. then spending time with my godson, and having a goodbye lunch with my future personal trainer. then seeing a future mr. and mrs. lead worship, singing songs that brought me back to the first time i walked through the basement doors at st. leo's, all dressed up with my girls. a goodbye blessing, soooo much love in that place! time with my beautiful ate, time with her booger butts, and then off to shop and dude, who doesn't love a fabulous deal! found jcrew italian wool pinstripe pants, originally 135, lovingly purchased for 27.99. they're like butter. that's LOVE.
then dinner with another bunch of my most favorite people in the world. (i know, sounds so redundant, but i absolutely love my friends!) in the history of dinners we have ever had together, this one ranks near the top. great food, great company, great weather, great music. i looked around the table, and i thought how perfectly simple happiness can be. i wanted to encapsulate all of it and just take it with me, so i could always replay the beauty that my senses have been privy to.

when i was at mass yesterday, at some point after communion, it hit me that at this time next sunday, i would be celebrating mass in st. augustine. it was mind boggling, because like most of my friends, i've been in denial about leaving. it really hasn't hit me. not till i'm physically there will it occur to me. the goodbye lunch given by my parents was great. i've been doing a lot of "sitting back and taking it all in" kind of moments, and again did one of those looks of love and joy. after lunch, some left and the rest of us went to starbucks to try to eke out the most of our time together, no one wanting to really part. i didn't mind it at all. besides, it's not a goodbye, it's a see you much later.

i was cleaning out the basement when i got home. this was one of the saddest things i have ever done. most of my life is in that room, scattered, some things in boxes, others destroyed by moisture/mildew and bugs. it's funny. i didn't seem to ever need anything in this room, or else i would've put it in the room upstairs. but now that i see it, i don't want to get rid of it. i'm trying to limit myself to perhaps just one box of momentos, like my old teddy bear, an album here, a ticket stub there, but now that box just doesn't seem proportionate. so that's where i am now, figuring out what i'm taking, what i'm leaving, and what needs to just go in the garbage or given away.

crunch time, here we come. fill that car! fill that car!